I can still tell you exactly where the first time it happened was. The smells and sounds of that moment are still burned into my brain like the hot end of a brand. I was about eight years old the first time I was molested by a man who was an acquaintance of our family. He just didn't start destroying my mind and soul, but the first time it happened was inside my tree house. This was my childhood escape; a place where I could be anything I wanted to be!
The tree house door had holes in it from where I had shot arrows into it as I was Robin Hood looking to take down the Sheriff of Nottingham. The deck was well constructed and served well as the deck of Captain Hook's ship as I was Peter Pan trying to rescue the lost boys. There was no rescue for me though when it came to the tree house. That moment changed the tree house, my generator of imagination. It changed me forever.
As time moved forward more innocence was stolen from me. Anger began to build up in me, and it was like a vial of inky darkness burst somewhere deep inside. To survive I had to become more than one thing to more than one person.
Somewhere deep inside an 8 year old boy became trapped, but the world demanded me to grow up. I became a master of hiding myself, my pain, and my mind determined that it would do what it could to protect that 8 year old boy.
As I went through my teen years bullying became almost a constant, rejection was amplified, and my mind (out of a desire to have something I could control) began to create worlds, stories, and characters that I could look up on. They were strong warriors, there were dark enemies that would be vanquished, and worlds of uniqueness that pulled me in. Sadly the world around me kept bleeding in. It seemed I could not build my walls thick enough.
The Eternal Series is a peak into the world beyond the curtain of my outward life. As I read through the series it is like that 8 year old boy left bread crumbs for me to follow; for you to follow.
Sure, the story is full of warriors like Ki and Leah, death and darkness like Arioch and Hecate, but also vulnerability like Eve and Victoria. In the middle of all it you discover those who are struggling with understanding themselves such as Isaiah and Troy. You will walk with those torn with their struggle of the black and white within a grey world such as Mantus and Sedit. They are all me.
This became even clearer to me when in the book The Vapor I followed one of the characters into a dark room where an eight year old boy was being molested and photographed. This scene, even though it may only take up one or two pages, took me over a week to write. It was one of the final steps I took in taking back my life and sanity from the demonic being that had taken it from me several decades ago.
This series was not just written for you to enjoy, but my desire was to help you be able to find characters that you can relate to. When we see the world through the eyes of a fictitious character, many times, it allows us to set aside the personal attachment to what we are going through. We, just maybe, can find a new path by seeing it in a different life.
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